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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.To what extent do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
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Most people think that media coverage of well-known personalities harms our kids. In my opinion, I completely disagree as people consider these celebrities as their idols and learn various qualities from them because sometimes they are not good models. The primary reason why a celebrity has positive effects on little ones is
due to
 their discipline and fitness. In recent times, public figures have keener to look after themselves by following a strict diet and workout styles, which encourages our children to eat healthy food and to be fit when they watch them on television.
For example
 , I started avoiding junk food after watching my favourite cricketer's interview about his eating habits.
Moreover
, you
also
 learn discipline and time management from them which eventually helps you in your entire life. Another critical reason that I believe is equally important for our younger generation is to learn leadership skills from them. In every aspect of our lives, we will definitely become a leader in the near future, either as a parent or as a mentor of a team.
Furthermore
, one can learn calmness, decision-making capability, and skills to deal with difficult situations by seeing world leader interviews.
For instance
 , I have started supporting the weakest member of my team and made sure he works on the subjects where he is good and strong.
To conclude
, the media plays a key role in promoting our celebrities, and in return, they
also
 contribute to the world by encouraging young children to follow a healthy, disciplined, and fruitful life.
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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task achievement
To further improve your essay, try to elaborate more on your main points with additional examples or evidence. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help maintain the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and provides several reasons to support it, making it easy to understand the writer's perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, helping to frame the discussion and bring the essay to a close.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
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