Fewer young people choose to work in farming. What are the reasons? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?

At present, the question of why fewer farms for their livelihoods in the countryside remains a conundrum. I will give my own points about the causes of
this
trend and whether it is good for youngsters to work in farming.
Firstly
, fewer
people
do farming jobs in rural areas because those involved are usually underpaid.
Consequently
, it becomes a real hurdle to lead their family to a happy life
while
living a low standard. Everyone desires to have tasty meals, to live in gorgeous houses, to send their kid to well-reputed schools so they would never accept
such
a low wage .
Secondly
, extreme working conditions are another burden that
people
have to take on.
For example
, when it is in the middle of June,
farmers
are still in the fields on a daily basis
although
the weather is rainy which is detrimental to endure.
In contrast
, even an office worker can get a higher air-conditioned working complex.
In other words
,
this
profession is the
last
choice and
people
avoid it because making a living seems to be impossible. Those above-mentioned pieces of evidence show that there are a lot more well-paid careers for
people
to choose if they leave the remote area to study in the city.
Such
as doctors, architecture designers, and other rewarding roles, so I strongly disagree
to let
Change preposition
with letting
show examples
youngsters work in the profession of cultivating.
Moreover
, if students become
farmers
, they will waste all the time and money that they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
on academic education because watering and collecting do not need
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of qualification but health, all of their accomplishments at school are unusable
then
.
For instance
, unlike
farmers
, well-educated IT developers can earn much more in a month.
In addition
, those
people
also
have the right to experience other perks
such
as being flexible in working schedules, which
farmers
could never have . In conclusion, there are a few key reasons for the decreasingly attendance to the work that provides agriculture products being
little
Correct word choice
low
show examples
amount of pay and a poor working environment.
Due to
this
, the young should consider having another choice which is more try-worthy with more creature comforts.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
You have addressed the essay prompt about the reasons why fewer young people choose to work in farming and provided reasons why they should not. However, make sure to consider both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view in future essays.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
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