Some university students live with their family while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages.?

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In recent years, many students

live

Wrong verb form

have lived

show examples

with their parents

whereas

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some prefer to stay away from home because their universities or colleges are in different regions. From my perspective, the advantages of living away from home significantly outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin

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with, the benefits of staying with family. Students really enjoy and have a hearty lunch together. One can even share feelings and thoughts with each other and get advice or suggestions

accordingly

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Additionally

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, family sickness never be a problem for learners.

For instance

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, teenagers after a long busy day at a study place, play with their siblings or parents which can automatically boost their mind and energy levels.

Therefore

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, living with family plays an important role in fostering emotional value too.

Nevertheless

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, in my opinion, those who live away from home have more advantages than disadvantages because people learn more about independence and freedom. To elaborate , they develop social skills by learning about various cultures when living with a group in a hostel or accommodation.

For example

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, students start buying things

according to

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their budget, wash clothes on their own, and wake up early in the morning. They become a good responsible person.

Moreover

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, face some difficulties but learn to overcome the situations over time.

Thus

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this

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exposure can lead to greater success in their careers. In conclusion, both have their own benefits but staying away from family for some time really has an indispensable role which makes a huge difference in their success.

Hence

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, its advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages.

sdeep507890Sat Mar 22 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents its main idea and fully develops it with supporting details. Some points could be elaborated further for better clarity.

Task Achievement

In the introduction, consider providing a brief overview of both sides before stating your opinion to enhance the reader's understanding.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples or instances to strengthen your argument. For example, you could give more details about how living away from home has helped someone succeed in their career.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains a consistent stance throughout, which is commendable.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structured approach with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion reflects a solid understanding of essay organization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Some university students live with their family while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages.?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, many people are likely to over use internet and some of them even become addicted to it. What are reason for this? What problem can be cause by internet over use?

Some people say that the main aim of advertisements is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.

some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. agree or disagree