Some university students live with their family while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages.?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many students
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
show examples
with their parents
whereas
Linking Words
some prefer to stay away from home because their universities or colleges are in different regions. From my perspective, the advantages of living away from home significantly outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the benefits of staying with family. Students really enjoy and have a hearty lunch together. One can even share feelings and thoughts with each other and get advice or suggestions
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, family sickness never be a problem for learners.
For instance
Linking Words
, teenagers after a long busy day at a study place, play with their siblings or parents which can automatically boost their mind and energy levels.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living with family plays an important role in fostering emotional value too.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in my opinion, those who live away from home have more advantages than disadvantages because people learn more about independence and freedom. To elaborate , they develop social skills by learning about various cultures when living with a group in a hostel or accommodation.
For example
Linking Words
, students start buying things
according to
Linking Words
their budget, wash clothes on their own, and wake up early in the morning. They become a good responsible person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, face some difficulties but learn to overcome the situations over time.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
exposure can lead to greater success in their careers. In conclusion, both have their own benefits but staying away from family for some time really has an indispensable role which makes a huge difference in their success.
Hence
Linking Words
, its advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents its main idea and fully develops it with supporting details. Some points could be elaborated further for better clarity.
Task Achievement
In the introduction, consider providing a brief overview of both sides before stating your opinion to enhance the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or instances to strengthen your argument. For example, you could give more details about how living away from home has helped someone succeed in their career.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains a consistent stance throughout, which is commendable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structured approach with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion reflects a solid understanding of essay organization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: