IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

#job #friend #help #advice
Dear Anne, I hope you're doing well. We didn't meet up for a long time. How's everything with you? I am writing to you seeking your help. I have
taken
Verb problem
made
show examples
 a big decision to leave my current job and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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start searching for new positions in
administartion
Correct your spelling
administration
 departments. As you know,
finally
, I finished my study
last
 month and I have graduated with
administration
Correct article usage
an administration
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 degree.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, I need to find a job to start my new
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
.
However
, I got two recommendations from my professors, which would hopefully support my resume. I was recommended to apply for account
vaccancies
Correct your spelling
vacancies
 or retail firms
as well as
 a beginning. Anyway, I will
attatch
Correct your spelling
attach
 my CV, please read it and tell me if I need to
do
Verb problem
make
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 any amendments. I wonder
also
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if you can send my CV to your contacts, as I'm aware that you have good connections and maybe you can recommend me to them. many thanks in advance, regards, Emily
Submitted by nawartomry on

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accuracy
There are a few spelling mistakes, such as 'administartion' which should be 'administration', and 'carrier' which should be 'career'. Also, 'attatch' should be 'attach', and 'vaccancies' should be 'vacancies'. Make sure to proofread for such minor errors.
organization
The overall structure of the letter is logical, but some paragraphs could be better organized. For example, the reason for leaving the current job can be expanded to provide more clarity.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear and appropriate greeting and closing, which helps in setting a friendly tone.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph introduces a new idea, making it easier to follow the writer's thoughts.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is very suitable for a friendly letter, and the request is politely made.
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