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Band 5

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #priority #health #care #taxpayers’ #money #priorities
How taxpayers'
money
 is used by the
government
 is a hot social topic.Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 point out that
health
care
 should be developed
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
,
while
 others hold the idea that
government
 should pay for other significant priorities.
This
 essay will discuss these two different viewpoints. Giving priority to
health
care
 is able to increase the
citizens’satisfaction
Correct your spelling
citizens satisfaction
.One of the biggest problems concerned by
people
 is their
health
. Only when
people
 have a good body can they accomplish what they want to do.
Therefore
, the
government
 should play a role in assisting those who need help
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
care
 and introduce some policies related to
health
care
 which can greatly reduce
people
's economic expenditure on medical
care
.
However
,if putting lots of
money
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
care
,the
development
 of other aspects will be limited. The main reason why the
government
 should spend
money
 on other important things
firstly
 rather than
health
care
 is that it can greatly help
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 to enhance
the
Change the word
its
show examples
overall
 strength and international status.
For example
,
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 is the main factor supporting the
development
 of a country. If taxpayers'
money
 were spent primarily on the
economy
, there would be plenty of
money
 which is able to support innovation and
development
 in the military, infrastructure and technology.
According to
 the news reported in the China Daily,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 three
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 of the
government
 in China from 2016 to 2021 were
economy
 ,military and education. In conclusion,I agree with those who hold the view that the
government
 should primarily invest
taxpayers’
Correct your spelling
taxpayers money
money
 in other more important aspects
instead
 of
health
care
,especially
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 which is the foundation of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
development
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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