It is often thought that the increase in juveniles crime can be attributed to violence in social media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solution can you offer to deal with this situation.

#juveniles #crime #violence #media #offer #situation

It is undeniable that social

media

is giving a great influence on youth these days. Some people claim that the main reason for recent crime by young people is easy access to violent

content

This

essay will address my thought on

this

topic and a possible solution to resolve

this

issue. I firmly believe that uncensored and violent videos which you could find easily on Internet made juveniles commit crimes. Wondering and having curiosity about intense fights are human nature.

However

, advanced technology creates an environment where young people can share these fight videos without learning these behaviours are morally wrong.

Moreover

, the fact that

this

type of inappropriate

content

can bring a lot of attention on social

media

makes children want to create

this

content

and post it themself. Recent research about kids in juvenile jail is well-shown that how social

media

affect young criminals. Most of them in juvenile jail stated that they have experienced addiction to intense

content

or attempted to film fight videos because they wanted to be noticeable in the online world.

It is clear that

the Internet is affecting children deeply in a negative way.

However

, creating regulations on social

media

can be a way to prevent

this

problem to happen. Companies which are providing these platforms are responsible for creating a safe online space.

For example

, Twitter added a new feature that if there is a violent or harmful post, it will show a warning sign to everyone seeing the post. In Korea, there is an article that

this

regulation helped to decrease the crime rate.

To conclude

, social

media

is playing a harmful role in society by encouraging juvenile crime but safely regulated online can be a possible remedy for

this

phenomenon.

Submitted by dayoung000929 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juveniles crime can be attributed to violence in social media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solution can you offer to deal with this situation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outwegh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work foe different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?