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Band 7

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you thinking that is happening? How can this issue be solved?

#countries #animals #plants
In today's world, many countries have been experiencing a constant decline in the number and variety of
plants
 and
animals
.
This
 problem is attributable to the excessive harvesting of high-value
plants
 for financial needs and the illegal poaching of wild
animals
 to meet the aesthetic demands of society. Yet, it can addressed by the implementation of new, stricter laws by the government. It should be noted that many types of
plants
 offer various benefits to humans, ranging from being a natural medicine to boosting the appearance of an object or a person.
For
this
 reason,
plants
, especially those with practical applications, are usually traded at a high price, bringing much money for the seller.
As a result
, many people try to collect them in large quantities to boost their financial situation.
Consequently
, a significant decrease in the number of
plants
 is evident. Another noticeable cause of
this
 problem is the illegal hunting of
animals
 for aesthetic purposes.
This
 kind of creatures may have body parts,
such
 as the ivory of elephants, the fur or skin of many other
animals
, that can be very useful for making luxurious products. These items can
then
 be worn on the body to display wealth and enhance the
overall
 appearance of the users.
Therefore
, hunters kill
animals
 to meet the social demand for these aesthetics. The solution to
this
 phenomenon lies in the government's action of creating new regulations regarding the use of
plants
 and
animals
. The news can tackle the problems by increasing the severity of the punishment, or by setting quotas to maintain a stable population for
plants
 and
animals
.
For instance
, those who disobey the law can face prison time alongside the usual hefty fine and the permanent ban on their licenses.
This
 approach has proven to work in Finland, where the figures for
plants
 and
animals
 saw a recovery since new regulations were implemented. Taking all points into account, the reduction in the number of
animals
 and
plants
 stems from overharvesting and excessing killing for various needs.
Nevertheless
, it can be solved through the use of new laws made and enforced by the government.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the causes of the decline in plants and animals, and possible solutions. However, try to include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion. Review the use of transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which is good. However, work on ensuring all main points are thoroughly supported and explained.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a good structure to the essay.
supported main points
Your main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic. It's clear that you've understood the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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