In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Nowadays, it is quite notable that the mean weight of
people
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is rising
while
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they have declining
health
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at the same time.
This
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essay will explore the primary reasons behind
this
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issue and propose feasible solutions aimed at mitigating its impact. First and foremost, having an unbalanced diet is a major cause. Currently, most
people
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are trapped in the fast pace of work and life, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
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lack of time to cook or choose a healthy meal. For the sake of convenience,
people
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are more inclined to order takeout in the course of daily life, which is nutritionally void and may contain excessive
additions
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additives
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.
In addition
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,
this
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problem can
also
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be attributed to the lack of physical
exercise
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. Under the pressure of work, many individuals often
spending
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spend
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a prolonged time sitting on the chair and
they cannot be
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are
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able
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unable
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to do some
exercise
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regularly
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apply
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, which is extremely detrimental to
health
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.  Fortunately, some possible solutions can be used to reverse
this
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trend. One of the effective approaches is promoting the significance of
health
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.
For example
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,
government
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the government
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could broadcast public service advertisements about how to balance our diet or what some simple
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exercise
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exercises
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we can do in daily life, arousing the
people
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's attention and
let
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prompting
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people
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be prompted
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apply
show examples
to action. Another valid policy could be for relevant entities to provide more
exercise
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facilities and opportunities. Schools could add diversity sports programs, allowing students to do more training to boost their
overall
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health
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situation
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apply
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. And it is beneficial for communities to put more financial resources
to
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into
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bulid
Correct your spelling
building
facilities,
thus
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encouraging
people
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to do regular
exercise
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. In conclusion, the reason why the average weight is increasing and
health
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levels are falling stems from a combination of various factors.
Therefore
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, to reverse
this
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problem, the government, the public, the community and other parties should jointly take measures.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the causes and solutions in a more direct way.
coherence
Use clearer connections between ideas in paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas.
content
The essay identifies clear causes and solutions to the problem.
content
The conclusion summarizes the main points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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