ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

#ln #parts #world #children #orc #freedom #ls #development

Nowadays,

children

in many parts of the world enjoy more

freedom

than in previous generations.

This

shift has sparked a debate on whether

this

change is beneficial or detrimental to

children

development

. One of the main arguments in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of giving

children

freedom

is that it fosters independence and decision-making skills. With the liberty to explore,

children

learn to navigate the world on their own terms, which is crucial for their personal

development

and self-esteem.

This

increased

freedom

also

allows

children

to discover their interests and passions, leading to a more fulfilling and directed life.

On the other hand

, critics argue that too much

freedom

can be harmful. Without sufficient guidance and boundaries,

children

might make poor decisions that could affect their health and safety.

Additionally

, the lack of structure might lead to difficulties in understanding limits and responsibilities, potentially resulting in

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

issues. In my view, granting more

freedom

children

is a positive

development

, provided that it comes with appropriate support and guidance from adults. It's essential for

children

to have opportunities to explore and grow independently, but adults must

also

ensure they understand the consequences of their actions and learn to make wise choices. The increase in

freedom

given to

children

today reflects changes in societal attitudes towards parenting and child

development

While

there are valid concerns about the potential risks of too much

freedom

, these can be mitigated with careful oversight and education. Ultimately, equipping

children

with the tools to navigate their

freedom

responsibly will prepare them better for the complexities of adult life.

Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph builds logically from the previous one, and that all paragraphs support your overall argument. You've done well, but there's always room for refinement for even clearer logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay effectively includes an introduction and conclusion which clearly state your main argument and summary, respectively. To enhance, consider adding a more impactful statement or a call to action in your conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You have supported most of your main points with explanations. To further strengthen your essay, integrate more specific examples or data to back up your arguments. Real-world examples or statistics can significantly enhance your persuasiveness.

task achievement

Your essay adequately addresses the task, presenting a balanced view and concluding with your opinion. To improve, ensure that every part of the question is fully explored and that your position is consistently clear throughout.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive for the most part. Enhancing clarity could involve refining your topic sentences and ensuring they're directly supported by the sentences that follow, making it easier for the reader to follow your reasoning.

task achievement

You’ve used some relevant examples, but adding more specific and varied examples could further enrich your essay. Consider different contexts or perspectives to bring to light, which can make your essay more engaging and convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?