IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people say that the use of animals for the purpose of experiments is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#people #animals #purpose #experiments
Some individuals believe that keeping animal for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 personal's goals are against their right of living. I firmly agree with
this
 notion and some
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 surround my idea.
to begin
 with, the
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
 habitat of
animals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. they have
borned
Correct your spelling
born
borne
burned
 to be free and
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 with other species in spots they belong to.
otherwise
, it is aline with their
instict
Correct your spelling
instinct
 to experience
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
 and
nurturing
Wrong verb form
nurture
show examples
 their abilities
such
 as hunting and living in calamities.
For instance
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 many peoples maintain dogs as house
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they may suffer in order to adapt themselves to the ambience of
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
.
In addition
, they become obliged to suppress some features relating to their nature
such
 as barking and poaching.
furthuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, most of these
animals
 become deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 their family members and they have to experience loneliness which would lead to depression and mental issues.
Therefore
, it would cause a
catastroph
Correct your spelling
catastrophe
catastrophic
 for the environment and
animals
' ecosystem and some species may stay on the verge of extinction.
For instance
,
Anually
Correct your spelling
Usually
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cats
Add an article
the cats
show examples
 become
seprated
Correct your spelling
separated
 from their parents in order to sell to cat lovers and many of them will die
as a result
 of being apart from their mother's care.
to sum up
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 reiterate
thet
Correct your spelling
that
animals
 should stay
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the places where they
blong
Correct your spelling
belong
 to and
countinueing
Correct your spelling
continuing
this
 procedure can
contributed
Change the verb form
contribute
be contributed
show examples
 to irrecoverable damages both for human and animal existence.
Submitted by majidimehrsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: