Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think is the cause for this? What a possible solution can you suggest?
Crime has become predominant in today's world. Crimes are being committed by a large number of offenders following their release from prison.
This
essay will discuss the causes involving the lack of rehabilitation
programs
and unemployment. This
essay will also
suggest solutions that involve implementing policies
and programs
to mitigate this
issue in the forthcoming paragraphs.
The absence of rehabilitation
programs
in imprisonment is one of the main reasons for growing crimes. To elucidate it, Rehabilitation
programs
play an integral role for criminals by changing criminals' mindsets and leading to improvement in behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
In addition
to this
, due to
criminal backgrounds, they find it difficult to reintegrate into the workforce leading to unemployment. For illustration, a shoplifter who worked in the shop will not be given a second chance due to
high suspension by the shop owner.
One of the solutions to curb this
problem is to implement comprehensive rehabilitation
and educational programs
to alter the mindset of these offenders and teach them the results of good deeds. For instance
, research is evident that rehabilitation
programs
have reduced 70% of cases of crime in China after the implementation of these programs
. Moreover
, policies
should be created that make these individuals reintegrate into their work. Therefore
, education and policies
are very effective in bringing change to this
problem.
In conclusion, crimes are committed by individuals right away after being released from jail. Shortage of rehabilitation
programs
and policies
for rejoining work makes it impossible for the individual to maintain peace in society. However
, the proper implementation of rehabilitation
and education programs
in addition
to policies
giving second opportunities for work could make a huge difference in their behavior
and crime rate.Change the spelling
behaviour
Submitted by neetpunar on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. While the essay has coherence overall, some points could be developed further or expressed more clearly to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend the essay. To strengthen, make sure the thesis statement in the introduction is sharp and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the answer to the question.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, aim to deepen the analysis and offer more elaboration on how each point supports your overall argument. More detailed examples and explanations will strengthen the support for your main points.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete and covers both causes and solutions. To improve, make sure every part of the prompt is addressed with equal depth and clarity.
task achievement
The ideas are clear and comprehensive for the most part, but strive for greater clarity in expressing complex concepts and ensure that the writing remains focused on the prompt throughout.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your claims. This provides concrete evidence that strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper level of analysis.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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