Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think is the cause for this? What a possible solution can you suggest?

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Crime has become predominant in today's world. Crimes are being committed by a large number of offenders following their release from prison.

This

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essay will discuss the causes involving the lack of

rehabilitation

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programs

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and unemployment.

This

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essay will

also

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suggest solutions that involve implementing

policies

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and

programs

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to mitigate

this

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issue in the forthcoming paragraphs. The absence of

rehabilitation

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programs

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in imprisonment is one of the main reasons for growing crimes. To elucidate it,

Rehabilitation

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programs

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play an integral role for criminals by changing criminals' mindsets and leading to improvement in

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

In addition

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this

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due to

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criminal backgrounds, they find it difficult to reintegrate into the workforce leading to unemployment. For illustration, a shoplifter who worked in the shop will not be given a second chance

due to

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high suspension by the shop owner. One of the solutions to curb

this

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problem is to implement comprehensive

rehabilitation

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and educational

programs

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to alter the mindset of these offenders and teach them the results of good deeds.

For instance

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, research is evident that

rehabilitation

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programs

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have reduced 70% of cases of crime in China after the implementation of these

programs

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Moreover

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policies

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should be created that make these individuals reintegrate into their work.

Therefore

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, education and

policies

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are very effective in bringing change to

this

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problem. In conclusion, crimes are committed by individuals right away after being released from jail. Shortage of

rehabilitation

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programs

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and

policies

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for rejoining work makes it impossible for the individual to maintain peace in society.

However

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, the proper implementation of

rehabilitation

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and education

programs

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in addition

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policies

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giving second opportunities for work could make a huge difference in their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

and crime rate.

Submitted by neetpunar on Thu Jan 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. While the essay has coherence overall, some points could be developed further or expressed more clearly to enhance the logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend the essay. To strengthen, make sure the thesis statement in the introduction is sharp and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the answer to the question.

coherence cohesion

While main points are supported, aim to deepen the analysis and offer more elaboration on how each point supports your overall argument. More detailed examples and explanations will strengthen the support for your main points.

task achievement

Your response to the task is complete and covers both causes and solutions. To improve, make sure every part of the prompt is addressed with equal depth and clarity.

task achievement

The ideas are clear and comprehensive for the most part, but strive for greater clarity in expressing complex concepts and ensure that the writing remains focused on the prompt throughout.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your claims. This provides concrete evidence that strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper level of analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation
Reintegrate
Social stigma
Recidivism
Criminal records
Ex-offender
Associations
Comprehensive
Workforce
Mentoring
Incentivize
Stigmatize
Subsidies
Legitimate

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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think is the cause for this? What a possible solution can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Describe an item of technology that you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you.

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should start eating vegetarian because it helps improve health. To what extent do you agree?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.”

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?