Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Listening to

music

has always been the most popular and

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

hobby of

people

Till

Change preposition

show examples

date

Add a comma

,date

show examples

extremely less number of

people

might not like listening to

music

However

, other than them, the

ones’

Change noun form

ones

show examples

that find it interesting believe that it could be one way to bring

people

together from vast cultures and centuries. In my opinion,

this

is totally correct and, in

this

essay, I will explain the reasons why and how it brings us all together.

To begin

with, we know there are over thousands

various

Change preposition

of various

show examples

languages in the world.

Although

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

only understand a few of them.

Nevertheless

, listening to

music

in any language they don’t understand will be okay for them.

This

is because

music

has a fantasy. It has the power to rejuvenate an individual soul and make them feel for the instruments being played in the

music

For instance

, the famous song called “Despacito” was sung in French, and it got attention from all over the world. After a survey, it was found that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of its viewers do not even understand

it’s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

language and they would listen to it because their inner selves could feel it.

Furthermore

, it is noticed

music

made in the early century

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

popular even nowadays. It brings curiosity in

people

to know when and who

sung

Wrong verb form

sang

show examples

this

song and to know about its cultural background and find about that time and know the grounds, why

this

song was sung. In

this

way,

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

industry never dies and

instead

Add a comma

,instead

show examples

keep

Correct subject-verb agreement

keeps

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

alive and connected to their loved

ones’

Correct your spelling

ones

show examples

For example

, Sidhu Moosewala, a popular singer that died in an accident is still alive in citizens’ heart and every time someone

listen

Change the verb form

listens

show examples

to his

music

remembers him.

Lastly

, in

conclusion

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,conclusion

show examples

I will say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we should not listen to

music

for the sake of listening.

Instead

, we should tend to understand

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it and learn about it. We should investigate the purpose behind it and in

this

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

we will be able to get closer to other

people

and traditions.

Submitted by khannaughty26 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?