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Band 7

Some people think that it is best to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #city
Some people believe that living in a horizontal
city
 is preferable,
while
 others find a vertical
city
 more suitable.
While
 settling in a horizontal
city
 has significant benefits, I believe that living in a vertical
city
 has more advantages. The community that believes the horizontal town has its own notable merits. First of all service expenditure is not as costly as it is in the vertical
city
.
That is
 to say, if the building has more than two floors, there is no fee like a security fee or elevator fee.
Second,
being
Wrong verb form
it is
show examples
 capable of extricating easily from emergency cases
for instance
 fire, collapsing in construction, or elevator accidents.
Finally
, in the living space, which is comfortable, roomy, and expensive, people can have an enjoyable life without stress and tension.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that living in a vertical
city
 has more advantages. I would start by saying that building more skyscrapers can resolve the issue of accommodation shortage caused by population explosions in metropolitan centres. What I mean to say is that hundreds of citizens will be experiencing alternative living conditions
instead
 of living alone in private houses, which would occupy the majority of the residential space. Another point I would like to mention is the services.
For example
, many skyscrapers are connected with a variety of products and services, including offices for rent, malls, and cafes.
Moreover
, residential homes with commercial uses like supermarkets or gyms are convenient for citizens. In conclusion, living in a vertical
city
 is better than living in a horizontal
city
 because of some prominent advantages, despite those people who believe in living in a horizontal
city
.
Submitted by nguyen on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both views and expressing the writer's opinion. However, some points are underdeveloped and could benefit from further explanation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a good overall structure to the essay. The main points are supported, but the logical structure could be further improved for better coherence and flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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