IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #success #career #education
Nowadays
enormous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people try to compete
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 successful in the future through their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 or
education
. There is a lot of discussion about the meaning of
success
 and it will be different among others. I believe to become a
success
are
Verb problem
I will
show examples
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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education
 level
and
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apply
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bring
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact and contribute to
the
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apply
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society.
To begin
 with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of them believe
to become
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that becoming
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success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 in the
futures
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future
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 is always their
goals
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goal
show examples
. The
goals
Add a verb
goals are
goals were
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 absolutely different for each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 and
also
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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various
of
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apply
show examples
purpose
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purposes
show examples
 in their life
such
 as
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a doctor, business owner, or president.
For instance
, becoming a doctor is difficult because it is a long journey (almost 7 years) and the competition
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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this
 more challenging.
For business
Change preposition
Business
show examples
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
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,
they
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apply
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might
be failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 many times and
also
 affect
to
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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both physical and emotional aspects.
However
, to overcome myriad problems they need to learn persistently and put in a concern
in
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on
show examples
 a daily basis
such
 as trying to connect alumni from the university and read more news
everyday
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every day
show examples
 to get
a current information
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current information
a piece of current information
show examples
.
In addition
, the meaning of
the
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apply
show examples
success
 for me is
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 the Director in
banking
Add an article
the banking
show examples
 industry through higher
education
 and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to contribute
of
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to
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Looking at the previous Director, the background
has
Verb problem
is
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 impressive and
also
 taking a top university
in
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apply
show examples
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
 has become the key reason. I
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 a lot how
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 them, they not only focus on the business
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 contribute to the other
such
 as
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a speaker in
global
Add an article
the global
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 financial sector and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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 to the empowerment community.
To conclude
, the meaning of
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 for each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
has
Verb problem
is
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 different
as well as
 depends on the
goals
. I believe
to get
Change preposition
that getting
show examples
 a higher
education
 and bringing more positive impact have always been my future
goals
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Some sentences are hard to understand due to minor grammatical issues.
cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to make the text flow more smoothly. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In contrast,' could help linkage.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate your points with more specific examples and detailed reasoning. While you provide examples, more specific instances would enrich your essay.
structure
You have included a clear introduction and a conclusion, which helps in framing the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses different interpretations of success, and you provide personal reflections on the idea of success.
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