IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates Tourist orders
information
Use synonyms
 in one country for 6 months in 2011.As
it
Correct your spelling
is
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 clear from the graph
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the
information
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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received in
person
Use synonyms
 had increased significantly in January from nearly 401 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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1900 in June.
In
Add a hyphen
In-person
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Add a comma
,person
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information
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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less amount in January
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the
information
Use synonyms
 by
letters
Use synonyms
 and in
person
Use synonyms
. But
then
Linking Words
,there was highly
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 in June.
Although
Linking Words
, in the half of February the
information
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 had gradually the same with
information
Use synonyms
 by
letters
Use synonyms
. Orders by
letters
Use synonyms
,remain the same amount in January and February between 600 to 800. But in March the figure had
stick
Change the verb form
stuck
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 to 700 until it had fallen significantly to reach less than 400 in May. Requests by telephone had
level
Wrong verb form
levelled
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 up despite
information
Use synonyms
 by
letters
Use synonyms
 and in
person
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,it seems there is still
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 request number of
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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beginning
Add an article
the beginning
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 of April with the
information
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
 to reach one thousand.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the request number by
letters
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 generally the only one were decreased in June.
Submitted by almeem on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words information, person, letters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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