IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for your advice on whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/ she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why she will not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea Suggest the type of job that would be suitable.

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #type
Dear Mila, I'm doing great and I hope You are in good health. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that when you complete school, you have the problem of whether to go to college or get a new business. I agree more with getting a new career. because when you continue studying at school it is extremely tiring. Recently, you have not felt happy when continue to study at university. because the university gives a lot of assignments for all students that will be boring. Perhaps,
this
 was still acceptable for young people, but
this
 time you had more skills which can develop after finishing school. I think that getting a work give me the best opportunity in the future. When you were working in the company. you will get income per month, healthy insurance and
also
 work becomes a great solution for someone who not will continue faculty. I have suggested to you about kind of activity. namely, influencer, businessman and employee. because I see you have skills which can develop and
this
 is a job suitable for several people. I hope you like my advice. Please let me know once you make a decision. Best Regards, Alvian
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
To fully achieve the task response criterion, ensure your reasons for recommending a job over college are clearly expanded upon. This includes providing specific examples or scenarios that illustrate why a job would be more beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your paragraphs to ensure each one focuses on a single main idea. This will enhance the readability and clarity of your letter.
task achievement
The letter's tone remains suitable and friendly throughout, which matches the task's requirements of giving advice to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and contribute to the overall cohesiveness of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressures
  • financial burdens
  • tuition
  • student loans
  • uncertainty
  • work experience
  • earn money
  • practical skills
  • professional network
  • align with interests
  • growth opportunities
  • on-the-job training
  • apprenticeships
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