the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
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The diagram illustrates the
procession
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process
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of producing
sugar
Use synonyms
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, to turn the
sugar
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cane into
sugar
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, we have to do 7 different steps. Starting by growing the
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
and ending up with drying and cooling the
sugar
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crystals to become
sugar
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we have to grow the
sugar
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Use synonyms
canes
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cane
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.
This
Linking Words
process usually
take
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takes
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around 12 to 18
monts
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months
. After the
sugar
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cane matured, enough to be harvested, they can be collected
by
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in
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2
diffent
Correct your spelling
different
ways. One way is collected
sugar
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canes
Use synonyms
manually by people, one is collected by machines. After being harvested, the
sugar
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Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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will be crushed by
a
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apply
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special
mechines
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machines
machine
to become the liquid form (juice).
Secondly
Linking Words
, after getting the juice, we have to purify it
by
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with
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a limestone filter. Once it
be
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is
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purify
Wrong verb form
purified
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the juice will be evaporated to become the syrup form.
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
form
have
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has
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to be
manufatured
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manufactured
by
centrifuge
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a centrifuge
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mechine
Correct your spelling
machine
which will
seperate
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separate
the
sugar
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crystals from the syrup. The
last
Linking Words
stage to become
sugar
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is drying and cooling the collected
sugar
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crystals which are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
by the centrifuge.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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