the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
The diagram illustrates the
procession
Replace the word
process
show examples
of producing
sugar
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
cane.
Overall
, to turn the
sugar
cane into
sugar
, we have to do 7 different steps. Starting by growing the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
and ending up with drying and cooling the
sugar
crystals to become
sugar
.
Firstly
, we have to grow the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
.
This
process usually
take
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takes
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around 12 to 18
monts
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months
. After the
sugar
cane matured, enough to be harvested, they can be collected
by
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in
show examples
2
diffent
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different
ways. One way is collected
sugar
canes
manually by people, one is collected by machines. After being harvested, the
sugar
canes
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cane
show examples
will be crushed by
a
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apply
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special
mechines
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machines
machine
to become the liquid form (juice).
Secondly
, after getting the juice, we have to purify it
by
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with
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a limestone filter. Once it
be
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is
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purify
Wrong verb form
purified
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the juice will be evaporated to become the syrup form.
then
this
form
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be
manufatured
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manufactured
by
centrifuge
Correct article usage
a centrifuge
show examples
mechine
Correct your spelling
machine
which will
seperate
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separate
the
sugar
crystals from the syrup. The
last
stage to become
sugar
is drying and cooling the collected
sugar
crystals which are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
by the centrifuge.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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