IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this?

#supermarkets #food #country #imports
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It has been argued that supermarkets should merely sell domestic
food
Use synonyms
 ingredients rather than those from overseas. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement based on two reasons, one of which is that
overseas’
Change noun form
overseas
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 will accompany bacteria which will lead to certain illnesses, and the second is
food
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 in their own country can control the general
price
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.
Firstly
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, selling
food
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 production within their own country has a high quality to prevent the other nation’s bacteria. Countries cannot control other nations' farming methods, so there is a high opportunity to accompany diseases with
food
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 from other countries.
For example
Linking Words
, a few years ago, beef from America carried a kind of bacteria which
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 cause certain sicknesses after individuals ate them,
therefore
Linking Words
 only selling domestic
food
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 products is an optimum avenue to prevent
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, high-quality
price
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 management can be done by purchasing
food
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 from their own nation.
This
Linking Words
 is because importing
food
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 into the country has to pass through transit, packaging, and other sophisticated processes, which certainly increase the
price
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.
This
Linking Words
 situation can be evidenced in Taiwan where northern and southern Taiwan have a huge range of
food
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 prices. Specifically, most of the restaurants in northern Taiwan use
food
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 from other nations which increases the
price
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, southern Taiwan’s restaurants sell domestic
food
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 which is much cheaper in cost. In conclusion, I believe that supermarkets should only sell domestic
food
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 because
this
Linking Words
 management can ensure the
food
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 quality and decrease the average cost of
food
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. Supermarkets should be a
trustable
Correct word choice
trustworthy
show examples
 place to purchase
food
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, even though there is no multiple choice in the
food
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 source.
Submitted by anson900506 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points of the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task statement, provide more specific examples to support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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