Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is often argued that different ages of

people

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from various nations can

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their cultures through

music

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. And I fully agree that

music

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has

Correct article usage

the

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power in gathering various

people

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in the world. First of all, I believe that each country can

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music

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contents which

contain

Correct subject-verb agreement

contains

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their own traditions and cultures. These days, we have many global social media including a video platform, Youtube, so it is easier to experience other nations’

music

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indirectly.

For example

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, a traditional

music

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called Jongmyo Jeryeak in Korea, we have videos of how

this

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ceremony is held,

however

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, we

also

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watch

music

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videos of Michael Jackson in America. By sharing on the video platform, many countries are able to search for other nations’ traditional

music

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and get some information about what songs are trending in different countries.

Secondly

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music

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can make

people

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gather between different generations. Briefly, we can

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music

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with our parents’ generation, by making remake songs based on the 1990s.

For instance

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, recently, a K-pop singer named Jeon Somi made a song in the Tecktonik genre which trended from the 1990s to the 2000s. And we dance

according to

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this

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old style genre and

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it with older

people

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than us. We can make a new trend based on the old genre by remaking old songs and

find

Wrong verb form

finding

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a similar part with other generations. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

music

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is a good way to gather

people

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of various generations and countries because of experiencing other traditions indirectly and finding the same part between the elderly and the young.

Submitted by guseoin on Mon Aug 21 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

These days many families move abrod for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Other believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The government spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.