Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themthelves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What is your opinion? Use specific rsasons to support your answer.
Nowadays, it is becoming common for
people
to carry handguns. They do it in order to protect them. However
, some people
believe that citizens are allowed to keep guns
, while
others argue that it will lead to many social security problems in society
. In fact, I side with those who believe carrying guns
will bring social security problems for two main reasons.
The main reason is making people
scared. By carrying guns
, citizens will feel not secure in society
. They think that they can easily be shot in public. For instance
, people
in restaurants will leave as soon as they see people
bring guns
into that place. As a result
, citizens feel afraid of going to public places.
The following reason is affecting students' behaviours. Some children think that having guns
is cool. By providing an environment where people
can bring handguns, youngsters can imitate it. Moreover
, they will do anything for having
Change preposition
to have
guns
. They will end up stealing adults' guns
. Nevertheless
, they do not know how to use it. They can bring it to school to show up to their friends. However
, this
situation can be harmful to everyone. Pupils can shoot their friends by accident.
To sum up
, having guns
can bring negative effects on society
such
as making people
scared and affecting students' behavior. However
, I am firmly convinced that it will be better for people
not to carry handguns to make the environment and society
safer. The government needs to restrict guns
for society
so people
can not buy guns
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task response
The essay adequately responds to the task by presenting reasons for not allowing citizens to carry handguns. However, the ideas presented are not fully developed, and could benefit from more in-depth analysis and critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a basic structure of introduction, body, and conclusion, but the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs and between the main points could be improved. Connectors and transitional phrases can be used to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary and some attempt at using academic language. However, there is a need for more varied and precise vocabulary to express ideas more effectively and to avoid repetition.
grammatical range
The essay shows an attempt to use a range of complex structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and agreement. Clearer and more accurate expression of ideas is needed to enhance grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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