Nowadays, many people use social media every day to keep in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events

It is true that a large number of people use social

media

regularly to maintain contact with others

as well as

to get

news

. In my opinion, the advantages of social

media

do not outweigh its disadvantages. On one hand, it is true that social

media

is a great way to stay in touch with other people, especially your

friends

. Over the years, it is natural for

friends

to eventually move to another place, attend another school, or work at another company. Social

media

resolves

this

problem by allowing you to communicate with your

friends

over the Internet. Maintaining ties with your

friends

is important because it boosts and protects your mental health.

Moreover

, social

media

allows you to stay informed about

news

in a convenient manner.

For example

while

waiting for the subway, I’m able to find easily and quickly find

news

updates through my phone.

However

, there are

also

various disadvantages to the constant adoption of social

news

Firstly

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

may develop an unhealthy addiction to social publishing, spending hours each day checking their messages or social account rather than doing their schoolwork or work. In extreme cases,

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

may even neglect sleep to

adoption

Replace the word

adopt

show examples

social publishing.

Additionally

, social

news

adoption can result in unhappiness and poor mental health because it leads you to

comparing

Change the verb form

compare

show examples

yourself with others. The truth is that social

news

paints a false representation of other community’s lives. community, including celebrities, tend to post the best pictures of themselves and their more interesting or exciting moments. When we compare ourselves to these highlights, we may develop a sense of inferiority and insecurity. In summary, I believe that social television has both advantages and disadvantages, and neither significantly outweighs the other.

Submitted by hbs327428 on Mon Aug 21 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster connections
geographical barriers
disseminating
credible sources
misinformation
mental health
social comparison
cyberbullying
leverage
digital marketplace
political activism
social justice
widespread mobilization

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Nowadays, many people use social media every day to keep in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

In some countries an increasing no of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?