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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them

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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 sleep less than in the past.
This
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 change is mainly caused by the overuse of gadgets,
high
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high-stress
show examples
stress
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 levels, and a lack of physical activity.
As a result
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,
people
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 suffer from various health problems and experience negative effects in their daily lives. One of the main causes is the overuse of smartphones and other devices, especially at night. Many
people
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 spend hours scrolling through social media or watching videos, often without realizing how late it is. The blue light from screens
also
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 affects the body’s natural sleep cycle, making it harder to fall asleep. Another major reason is
stress
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. Adults today face many responsibilities,
such
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 as work pressure, financial problems, and worries about the future. These thoughts often keep them awake at night, as they find it difficult to relax and sleep.
Additionally
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, many
people
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 do not get enough physical activity during the day. With modern lifestyles that involve sitting for long hours, the body does not feel tired enough by bedtime. Physical exercise helps the body and mind relax, which is important for good sleep. The effects of poor sleep are serious.
People
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 may feel tired, lose focus, and become less productive at work or school. Over time, lack of sleep can lead to health issues
such
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 as anxiety, depression, or even heart problems. It
also
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 affects relationships, as sleep-deprived
people
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 can become moody and easily irritated. In conclusion, the main causes of reduced sleep today are gadgets,
stress
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, and lack of exercise. To stay healthy and productive,
people
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 should improve their sleep habits by limiting screen time, managing
stress
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, and staying active.

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Task Achievement
While the introduction clearly states the main reasons for reduced sleep, including gadgets, stress, and lack of physical activity, it can benefit from slightly more elaboration for clarity. Consider providing an example or two about how each factor specifically impacts sleep duration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your points are logically organized and well-connected; however, using more cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition') between points can improve the flow of ideas and enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Although the effects of poor sleep are suggested, including more specific examples or evidence (such as statistics on sleep deprivation impacts) could strengthen the argument and add depth to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The clear identification of causes and effects related to reduced sleep illustrates a good understanding of the topic and demonstrates logical reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument, which contributes to overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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