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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Thanks to the technological revolution, every single part of our lives has been altered significantly, and the way that
people
Use synonyms
 want to choose their own style is not logical.
While
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 some opine
Use synonyms
people
Correct pronoun usage
that people
show examples
 tend to be impressed by each other even in their style, in my view, our own style is a complicated issue, which depends on many factors, not solely fashion.
Firstly
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, nowadays, advertisement plays a crucial role in encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to follow fashion items. Wherever we go, we are all bombarded with a torrent of advertisements that encourage a culture of overconsumption among individuals.
For example
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, thanks to social platforms in the online world,
such
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 as Instagram,
people
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 can be aware of the latest trends, which are accepted by their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 celebrities or influencers. In
this
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 way, they are tempted to buy
such
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 a fashion item,
although
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 it is not necessary in their daily life. They are of the opinion that it is a good way to show their interest in those well-known
people
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.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 place a high value on their money. They strongly believe it is not logical at all to spend a vast amount of money on following fashionable items,
while
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 many
people
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 struggle to survive
due to
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 a lack of budget.
Moreover
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, they usually consider some other important factors when they decide to shop,
such
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 as fabric quality, weather conditions, and even their age.
For instance
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, my mother often has a tendency to opt for some items, which are really durable and functional, because she is of the opinion that it stops her from overconsumption. In conclusion, following others is in the nature of humans, especially in
this
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 modern era, it is much more common, but I strongly believe it does not necessarily mean it is a top priority for all individuals.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first sentence and stay with it all through the essay.
coherence
content
You show the idea that fashion copy is big because ads and money matter.
content
You use real examples like Instagram and your mom to support points.
structure
The essay has a plan: intro, body, and end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherently social creatures
  • acceptance and validation
  • peer influence
  • fashion trends
  • consumer behavior
  • media influence
  • celebrities
  • social media platforms
  • trend adoption
  • mass production
  • fast fashion
  • accessibility
  • unique identity
  • mainstream trends
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