it is important for people to take risks in both their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #risk

It is said that taking

risks

brings a lot of benefits.

However

, it

also

gives us some drawbacks. First of all, it is obvious that taking

risks

will cause a great loss if

people

do it and fail. In

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

life,

this

loss might not be so harmful.

However

,it will be really harmful in professional life,because

people

take

Remove the article

apply

show examples

responsibility not only for themselves but

also

others

such

as colleagues,customers and their families. It will even damage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

economic point.

On the other hand

,we can receive huge benefits by taking

risks

Firstly

,we can learn how to prepare for one goal through

this

process. In order to achieve the aim,

people

will make all the

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to think about it and try to find

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

efficient way. If they do

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional circumstances,they will recognise the responsibility and importance of cooperation.

Also

,it will be completely meaningful even though

people

can't achieve the goal after taking

risks

.They will learn the reason why they have failed and how to change it. The failure will enable them to improve their skills and to achieve their

object

Replace the word

objectives

show examples

next time. As I mentioned,it is true that taking

risks

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

us both advantages and disadvantages.

However

,it can be argued that the benefits outweighed the drawbacks in that we can obtain advantages not only from the result but

also

from the process of taking

risks

Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on Tue Aug 22 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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it is important for people to take risks in both their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or country into the city center. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this be the case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?