In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that finding a job motivates
people
to move
away from their family and friends. In
My opinion, I completely believe Change preposition
apply
this
has many advantages and in
Change preposition
apply
this
essay will explain why.
Firstly
, people
who want to work in their own field of interest have to move
away from their family and friends. That is
to say, most communities are unable to find jobs near their places, however
, most of the jobs are available in other cities and overseas. So, if someone wants to work in their field they have to keep the option to move
out. For instance
, employers in developed countries like Australia and Canada pay more wages to the employees whereas
, in developing countries like Nepal and India, employees are paid competitively less salary. This
is another reason people
move
out for a better salary.
Secondly
, migrating to another place not only gives the option for a better workplace but also
gives the knowledge about different cultures and technology. That is
to say, people
who travel to different places have more understanding of cultures rather than those who have been working in the same place for a long time. As an illustration, some studies reveal that 40% of people
move
away from family and friends in search of a new culture and a better workplace, where they can earn more and it keeps them motivated as well.
To sum up
, I believe people
have more advantages in their careers and finances when they move
out of their birthplace.Submitted by sateezg on
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Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which will make your argument stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphing and use a variety of linking words to improve flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
You did well in providing a clear introduction and conclusion that bookends your essay effectively.
Task Achievement
Your argument is clear, and you've made a strong case for the advantages of moving away for work.