In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is often argued that finding a job motivates

people

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move

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away from their family and friends.

Change preposition

apply

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My opinion, I completely believe

this

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has many advantages and

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apply

show examples

this

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essay will explain why.

Firstly

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people

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who want to work in their own field of interest have to

move

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away from their family and friends.

That is

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to say, most communities are unable to find jobs near their places,

however

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, most of the jobs are available in other cities and overseas. So, if someone wants to work in their field they have to keep the option to

move

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out.

For instance

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, employers in developed countries like Australia and Canada pay more wages to the employees

whereas

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, in developing countries like Nepal and India, employees are paid competitively less salary.

This

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is another reason

people

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move

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out for a better salary.

Secondly

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, migrating to another place not only gives the option for a better workplace but

also

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gives the knowledge about different cultures and technology.

That is

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to say,

people

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who travel to different places have more understanding of cultures rather than those who have been working in the same place for a long time. As an illustration, some studies reveal that 40% of

people

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move

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away from family and friends in search of a new culture and a better workplace, where they can earn more and it keeps them motivated as well.

To sum up

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, I believe

people

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have more advantages in their careers and finances when they

move

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out of their birthplace.

sateezgSat Apr 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which will make your argument stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphing and use a variety of linking words to improve flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

You did well in providing a clear introduction and conclusion that bookends your essay effectively.

Task Achievement

Your argument is clear, and you've made a strong case for the advantages of moving away for work.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most peoples lives.others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilites . Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.