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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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It's crucial to construct a society of responsible and well-mannered citizens. Some argue that it is best when the
parents
 teach the worth of being a good citizen, but others think it must be done at the
schools
. Of course, both views have some truth, and both are worth considering. On the one hand,
parents
 can exert more influence on the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of their offspring from an early age.
Parents
 have the advantage of inculcating
values
 of respect, honesty, and empathy among
children
 since much time is spent in the home environment during the early years. Most often,
such
 inculcation is affected by direct communication and by example.
Children
 learn how
parents
 interact with others and learn table manners or social etiquette from them.
Apart from
this
, the
parents
 can guide their
children
 better since
such
 guidance would be based on the particular needs and experiences of the child. Based on these reasons, many contend that
parents
 are the best entities to teach their
children
 moral
values
 and social responsibilities.
On the contrary
,
schools
 represent a developed place where the child learns to interact with a larger group of
children
 and elders. Various situations and problems at school develop the child's life, teaching them
such
 essential things as teamwork, discipline, and respect towards the rules.
In addition
,
schools
 organize several formal programs to provide
children
 with knowledge of their social roles and responsibilities.
For example
, there are specific classes of citizenship or moral education.
Schools
,
for instance
, can teach young people the
values
 of diversity, equality, and community service that may or may not be emphasized at home.
Parents
 and
schools
 should collaborate to teach
children
 how to be good members of society.
While
parents
 are supposed to lay the foundation of moral
values
,
schools
 are important in reinforcing and providing actual social experiences.
This
 combined approach would ensure that
children
 learn
values
 in theory and put them into practice in everyday life.
While
parents
 have the responsibility of teaching
children
 how to behave,
schools
also
 play a very important role in developing social skills and an understanding of society in
children
. By combining efforts,
schools
 and
parents
 can shape
children
 into responsible and respectful individuals.
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task achievement
The essay can be improved by using more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Consider providing concrete instances where parents or schools have successfully taught children to be good members of society.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using clearer transitional phrases between paragraphs or within the discussion of each viewpoint to create a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay discusses both perspectives and provides a balanced view, thereby sufficiently addressing the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, offering a cohesive start and end to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with logical reasoning and links between ideas are generally clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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