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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, schools are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#countries #schools #children #parents #work
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There are many advantages to keep in mind when the late opening of schools can take care of
children
while
parents
 are working.
Firstly
, the advantage is
parents
 do not worry about the safety of their
children
.
This
 is because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 many families, both father and mother have jobs and often leave not on time.
For example
,
children
 finish apply the classroom at 3 pm but
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
 and mother leave the office at 6 pm, so
children
 wait for their
parents
 alone which may be dangerous for them.
As a result
, matching
school
 and work hours for
children
 and
parents
 is a good choice.
In addition
,
children
 do not have to wake up early.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that some
children
 do not get enough sleep.
For instance
,
children
 can be punished when going late to
school
 which causes the
children
 to have a negative attitude towards
school
.
Therefore
, waking up late will make
children
 feel better about coming to
school
.
Although
 there are advantages to the late opening of
school
, and taking care of
children
 when
parents
 are working, there are some disadvantages to consider
such
 as some
children
 can become lazy.
To sum up
, schools are open late so that
children
 can be looked after when
parents
 are at work. It has advantages more than disadvantages. In my opinion, It is a good way for time management of families and it
also
 creates flexibility in life for father and mother.
Moreover
,
parents
 should balance suitable time between family members.
Submitted by kristiwatanayothin on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it. Briefly mention the key advantages and disadvantages you plan to discuss.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. For each advantage or disadvantage mentioned, provide specific, detailed examples. Consider including statistics, studies, or more personal anecdotes to illustrate your points.
task achievement
Balance your essay by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages equally. Your essay should ideally contain equal-length paragraphs for each, ensuring a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Although' are good, but try to use a wider range of linking words for variety.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the key points made and reiterates your overall stance. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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