IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India`s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India`s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
#bar #sector #contributions #india`s #product
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The bar chart below illustrates
consumer`s
Change the noun form
consumers
consumer
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require
Replace the word
requirements
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to
Change preposition
for
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gross
Add an article
the gross
a gross
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 domestic product of India over the 4 decades, between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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 sector showed
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
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declining
Replace the word
decline
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 over the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 industry and services demonstrated
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
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 trend. If
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of the
Use synonyms
period
Add a comma
,period
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 agriculture was
dominant
Correct article usage
the dominant
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 GDP sector, in 2000 services become most contributed.
Correct article usage
The agriculture
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Agriculture
Replace the word
Agricultural
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 figure was
on
Change preposition
at
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it`s
Correct your spelling
its
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 highest point of just over 60% in 1960,
then
Linking Words
declining
Wrong verb form
declined
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 suddenly to reach 12% in 2000.
Industry
Correct article usage
The industry
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 sector started at 15% and raised gradually to 25% in 1980. In the second part of the
period
Use synonyms
,
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
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 graph was unchanged. Services become more popular over the
period
Use synonyms
. Starting from just under 20%,
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 showed dramatic raise until 2000, and reached its highest point of 62%, becoming equal to agriculture`s initial statistics.
Submitted by sagynysh.mutigulliyeva.01 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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