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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The illustration below represents approximate cost plan for the next five years in American dollar for three ecological projects for sustainable forestry. The diagram depicts anticipated paying out failure allotment for the first year as the projects are put up.

The illustration below represents approximate cost plan for the next five years in American dollar for three ecological projects for sustainable forestry. The diagram depicts anticipated paying out failure allotment for the first year as the projects are put up.
The illustration below represents
approximate
Correct article usage
the approximate
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cost
Use synonyms
 plan for the next five
years
Use synonyms
 in American
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 for three ecological projects for sustainable forestry. The diagram depicts
anticipated
Correct article usage
the anticipated
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 paying out failure allotment for the first
year
Use synonyms
 as the projects are put up.
General
Change preposition
In General
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, the expenditure on the project in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
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 Asia exceeded that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Central
America
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. Projects
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 and Central
America
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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10.5 and 30
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in the first
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
cost
Add an article
the cost
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 of
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
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 Asia is 30 million dollars in the first
year
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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but there is a little fluctuation before the
last
Linking Words
 two
years
Use synonyms
 the
cost
Use synonyms
 is fifty-million dollars. These results will be quite different to
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 and Central
America
Use synonyms
 decreasing in the next
years
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when the total
cost
Use synonyms
 of
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 will stabilise at 2,5 million and increase to 3,5.
Also
Linking Words
, the statistics of Central
America
Use synonyms
 decreased to
twelve-million
Correct your spelling
twelve million
show examples
 in the
Use synonyms
year-two
Correct your spelling
year two
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 when other three subsequent
years
Use synonyms
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
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over
Change preposition
at over
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five-million-dollars
Correct your spelling
five million dollars
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. Turning to the projected expenditure in
year
Use synonyms
 1, it is understandable that 50% of the outlay is spent on salaries, followed by set-up costs with thirty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Other the remaining twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the expense went exactly half to training and office expenses.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cost, years, year, west, africa, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represents" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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