Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness’. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #‘money #happiness’ #factors

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Nowadays,

people

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believe that

money

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can bring

happiness

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but others think

money

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is not everything, there are many things that can not be brought by

money

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. Personally, I believe that

money

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is very important and it can not completely bring

people

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happiness

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Admittedly,

Happiness

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depends on how much

money

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people

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have.

First,

Linking Words

Having

money

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can help

people

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not worry about academic training level and tuition fees.

For example

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, wealthy families have enough conditions to send their children to the top school.

Second,

Linking Words

having a lot of

money

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helps

people

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relax and feel happy by paying for various activities like travelling, hanging out with friends or shopping.

Besides

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, some important factors are the key to

happiness

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. The most typical is relationship, almost all research already found that the most important factor leading to

happiness

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is quality relationships. Quality relationships with our family, friend or darling help to share feelings

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and overcome difficulties. Positive relationships will make life better.

In addition

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, health is

also

Linking Words

the key to

happiness

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. Life without health means nothing, can not perform their daily activities. In conclusion,

money

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is very important, it is key to

happiness

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but

money

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can not completely bring

people

Use synonyms

happiness

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Besides

Linking Words

money

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, there are many other things that bring

happiness

Use synonyms

Submitted by ieltsamiedu on Wed Aug 23 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness’. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

In some parts of the world , many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing on the youth Is that a positive or negative developments

Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.