IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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These days, some
people
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 hold the view that
people
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 should get more
time
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 to relax and get less
time
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 to
work
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.
This
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 topic become more and more popular in the world. In my opinion, I support that
people
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 should get more
time
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 to forget the stress from their
work
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. On the one hand,
people
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 getting more
time
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 to relax is beneficial to their body health and mental health. As far as we all know, both of them are important to us.
People
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 will have more
time
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 to do sports, go hiking to connect the nature and breathe some fresh air.
People
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 can
also
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 have a trip with their friends or partners, it is
also
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 a good action to bond in relationships
In addition
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,
people
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 having a good rest can improve their working efficiency.
People
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geting
Correct your spelling
getting
 a great rest can help them make the right decisions, make a great
time
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 plan, make creative ideas, promote
a
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apply
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wonderful cooperation and so on.
People
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 even get more outcomes from
work
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. The manager will be more and more into
this
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 working faction.
This
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 way can promote the trend of
people
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will
Wrong verb form
working
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work
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 online in their homes. On the other, some
people
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 believe that if they have too much
time
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 to relax, they will get a sense of gloom.
However
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,
people
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 should have some
time
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 to think if the
work
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 is suited to them. In conclusion, Shorter workweeks and longer weekends are critical to employees' quality of life and job satisfaction. In
this
Linking Words
 way, we can achieve
work
Use synonyms
-life balance, promote economic development, and prepare for the future
work
Use synonyms
 environment
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job at addressing the prompt and providing a complete response. However, try to include more specific examples or case studies to better illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs for improved coherence. Ensure each paragraph leads naturally into the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more consistently to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in maintaining a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
You've provided a comprehensive response to the task question, with a clear stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes both introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points such as the benefits of rest for health and work efficiency are well-structured.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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