The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, some
people
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hold the view that
people
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should have enough
time
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to relax at the weekend, meanwhile, the business day should be shorter.
This
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topic is so popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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topic. On the one hand,
this
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trend is
benefit
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beneficial
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to
people
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having
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a
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healthy life. As far as we all know, When
people
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get a longer
time
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to relax, they will do sports in their spare
time
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.
This
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is a good method to keep body health and mention health.
Secondly
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,
people
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can have more
time
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to stay with their parents and friends, they can spend more
time
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getting together
such
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as eating dinner, going
trips
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on trips
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, hanging out to explore something now and more. It is a good way to maintain relationships with each other.
In addition
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,
people
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can improve their work focus. Studies have shown that working long hours increases the risk of stress, anxiety and depression.
However
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, when
people
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are allowed to have shorter working
time
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every week, they will just fuel themselves up. They can finish more work at the same
time
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than before. It is a great method to increase work efficiency. Meanwhile, it is a good action to promote economic development .
Also
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, they will get a sense of happiness, relaxation,
enjoyment
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and enjoyment
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. In conclusion,
people
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should be encouraged to have more relaxed
time
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to forget the stress after a long
time
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of working, meanwhile, they should
also
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explore some new living healthy lifestyle. It is a good way to keep healthy, make our nation younger and younger, and create a better future.

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lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your essay.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points; this can help clarify your ideas and make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task response.
task achievement
You have identified some key benefits of a shorter work week, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively, tying your argument together.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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