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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The cost of international travel is decreasing,and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries.

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Globally, funds required for international trips have dropped significantly, so leisure activities have surged. The question of the possible merits,
as well as
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 the drawbacks of
this
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 new pattern, has sparked a substantial debate. Advocates argue that tourism provides the host communities with numerous job opportunities,
whereas
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 opponents contend that frequent air travel is not eco-friendly. Analyzing both viewpoints would give valuable insights into
this
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 subject matter. On the one hand, proponents of
this
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 trend argue that it provides jobs for local towns
,
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 since infrastructural development is limited in these rural areas where most resorts are located.
For instance
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, Sudbury Global Resort Center is the only source of income for residents around
this
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 area. Most of the folks who are uneducated are employed to do unskilled jobs, they would have to depend on governments' less privileged allocation to fend for themselves if not for the boom in the tourist sector.
Therefore
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, why
this
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 development is beneficial.
However
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, critics of global sightseeing have raised valid concerns that the increased number of flights elevates the Jet A1 fuel usage, and
as a result
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, more greenhouse gases are emitted into the atmosphere.
For example
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, the results from my recently concluded capstone project show that the number of flights and routes increased by 60 per cent over the
last
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 few years. Clearly,
this
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 number would not skyrocket if not for the tourism sector boom,
thus
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 the outcome is a drawback. In conclusion, the spike in tourism in many countries
due to
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 the reduced cost of international travel has prompted a considerable dispute. Many champion that it increases job prospects around the world, others refute that it led to frequent flight usage which has increased the emission of gases that are dangerous to our ecosystem. Examining these notions has given a comprehensive understanding of the possible advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 development.

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task achievement
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in tourism effectively. To further improve task achievement, make sure to delve deeper into each point, offering more nuanced perspectives or a wider variety of examples.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay is well-structured. To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas. Additionally, ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next by using introductory sentences that signal the content of the paragraph.
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