IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some experts believe that, it is better for children to beigin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadavantages

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Nowadays, it is crucial to learn a Foreign
language
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due to
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 its widespread use and numerous benefit, everybody needs to learn a second
language
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besides
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 their mother tongue, some people say if children learn a new
language
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 in a primary school,
this
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 action is better for them, others believe that students should learn a
language
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 in collage or secondary academy. In my opinion, learning a new
language
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 in a primary academy is better than in a secondary institute.
This
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 essay will note the reasons. To institute, when children begin studies in a primary academy have more time to focus on the new
language
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,
thus
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 they spend quality time practicing In the academic environment with classmates.
As a consequence
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, they have a good opportunity to interact with native students and share information about specific lessons when they go to college, they are supposed to speak a new
language
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 and enhance their awareness.
In other words
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, there is an undeniable correlation between
language
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 acquisition and age.
Moreover
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, children are good imitators. Turing to learning a foreign
language
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 in primary institute is that teenagers can easily copy the text and save it in memory unlike young people when it comes to
this
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 topic. It is strongly recommended that the optimal age after puberty and when they go to secondary school boost their level of self-confidence, seeing that they have a good chance to update data. Taking into account
this
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 view of arguments, I take the view that the government should take some  action which
language
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 classes held  seriously in primary school because
this
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 action has a dramatic impact on their life

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task response
The essay lacks a clear and structured response to the task prompt. The arguments presented do not fully address the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at different stages of education. Ensure that the essay comprehensively responds to the given task prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion through the use of transition words and linking ideas. However, the logical structure is somewhat convoluted, and the introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Ensure that the essay follows a logical progression of ideas and includes a clear introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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