The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?
The entertainment field plays a vital role in citizens' lives. It gives the person a break from all other busy fields in life. People argue whether the government's
investments
in art, music
, and theatre are a waste of money. Points of view varied regarding this
topic. I slightly disagree with this
point because there is no way to ignore that side in a modern country
. This
essay will shed light on the multiple opinions about this
topic.
Although
developing public services
is crucial, but
the government cannot ignore improving the entertainment field in the Remove the conjunction
apply
country
. This
will promote the country
in many aspects. For example
, tourists from around the world would be attracted to spend their summer vacations there. As a result
, the economy will be refreshed and the country
will gain more than lose. Moreover
, artists from around the world will be interested in presenting their work out there. Actually, theatres and music
create a history that coming
generations will be extremely proud of. Correct article usage
the coming
For example
, I am so proud that my country
,Kuwait, had concerts and amusement parks from the 80's. One of the amusement parks was called Showbiz.
However
, investments
in public services
are important too. For example
, citizens are suffering from bad housing systems and lack good sewage treatment. In addition
, solving the poverty issue and catching criminals who are threatening the community is much better. Governments should look at these important problems rather than producing movies and managing art exhibitions.
To sum up
, people have different ways of thinking about the government's investments
in arts, music
, and theatre while
these investments
should go to improve the public services
. In my opinion, I support investing in arts and music
. I also
suggest dividing the budget wisely between entertainment and public services
to solve the conflict between the two groups.Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Improve grammatical accuracy by ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement and avoiding minor errors, such as missing articles (e.g., 'the entertainment field'), and correct conjunction usage without unnecessary words (e.g., 'Although developing public services is crucial' without 'but').
Idea Development
Make sure to fully explore and develop each point with sufficient depth. For instance, the second body paragraph could have been expanded further by providing more specific examples of how bad housing systems and poor sewage treatment impact citizens.
Idea Development
Aim to provide a balanced discussion by more evenly weighing the arguments for and against the investment in arts, music, and theatre.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Content
The arguments presented are relevant and illustrative examples are provided to support the points made.
Language
The language used is generally clear and understandable, making the essay easy to follow.