The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?
The entertainment field plays a vital role in citizens' lives. It gives the person a break from all other busy fields in life. People argue whether the government's
investments
in art, Use synonyms
music
, and theatre are a waste of money. Points of view varied regarding Use synonyms
this
topic. I slightly disagree with Linking Words
this
point because there is no way to ignore that side in a modern Linking Words
country
. Use synonyms
This
essay will shed light on the multiple opinions about Linking Words
this
topic.
Linking Words
Although
developing public Linking Words
services
is crucial, Use synonyms
but
the government cannot ignore improving the entertainment field in the Remove the conjunction
apply
country
. Use synonyms
This
will promote the Linking Words
country
in many aspects. Use synonyms
For example
, tourists from around the world would be attracted to spend their summer vacations there. Linking Words
As a result
, the economy will be refreshed and the Linking Words
country
will gain more than lose. Use synonyms
Moreover
, artists from around the world will be interested in presenting their work out there. Actually, theatres and Linking Words
music
create a history that Use synonyms
coming
generations will be extremely proud of. Correct article usage
the coming
For example
, I am so proud that my Linking Words
country
,Kuwait, had concerts and amusement parks from the 80's. One of the amusement parks was called Showbiz.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
investments
in public Use synonyms
services
are important too. Use synonyms
For example
, citizens are suffering from bad housing systems and lack good sewage treatment. Linking Words
In addition
, solving the poverty issue and catching criminals who are threatening the community is much better. Governments should look at these important problems rather than producing movies and managing art exhibitions.
Linking Words
To sum up
, people have different ways of thinking about the government's Linking Words
investments
in arts, Use synonyms
music
, and theatre Use synonyms
while
these Linking Words
investments
should go to improve the public Use synonyms
services
. In my opinion, I support investing in arts and Use synonyms
music
. I Use synonyms
also
suggest dividing the budget wisely between entertainment and public Linking Words
services
to solve the conflict between the two groups.Use synonyms
Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Improve grammatical accuracy by ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement and avoiding minor errors, such as missing articles (e.g., 'the entertainment field'), and correct conjunction usage without unnecessary words (e.g., 'Although developing public services is crucial' without 'but').
Idea Development
Make sure to fully explore and develop each point with sufficient depth. For instance, the second body paragraph could have been expanded further by providing more specific examples of how bad housing systems and poor sewage treatment impact citizens.
Idea Development
Aim to provide a balanced discussion by more evenly weighing the arguments for and against the investment in arts, music, and theatre.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Content
The arguments presented are relevant and illustrative examples are provided to support the points made.
Language
The language used is generally clear and understandable, making the essay easy to follow.