The diagram below shows the manufacturing process fro making sugar from sugar cane.

#process #sugar #cane

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The process diagram illustrates the main steps for producing

sugar

Use synonyms

using

sugar

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cane

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Overall

Linking Words

, the process consists of seven steps, beginning with cultivating

sugar

Use synonyms

cane

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and ending with drying and cooling the liquid product. Other steps

such

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as farming, crushing, separating and drying are

also

Linking Words

involved with the utilisation of several facilities.

It is clear that

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the process begins with the growing of

sugar

Use synonyms

canes which are the raw material for

sugar

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production. After a certain period of time, the mature

sugar

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cane

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is harvested by farmers or using machines.

Then

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, the crushing machine is utilised to squeeze the harvested

sugar

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cane

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to convert it into juice.

After

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this

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step, the obtained juice is filtered using a limestone filter to remove the impurities, and the purified juice is introduced into an evaporator to turn it into syrup with the fire as a heat source. After that, the centrifuge was employed to separate

sugar

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crystals from the syrup.

Finally

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, after drying and cooling the purified syrup, the desired

sugar

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is produced.

Submitted by tfhe1112 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

170 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process fro making sugar from sugar cane.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?