People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People living in the modern age have a better opportunity to enjoy all the well-equipped amenities which are easily available resources than our ancestors.
However
, there are many advantages compared to disadvantages. In my ,opinion I agree with the given statement.
Firstly
, all healthcare infrastructure brought immense change to reach out even to the slum areas. Today brought plethora of changes come to exist. such
as treatments medicines and industrilization pharmaceuticals bring new medicines depending on disease treatment. To illustrate in the past death rate of newborns has major changed. Today all are within our reach like transportation in emergency situations take place. Furthermore
, scientists are involved in doing research on vaccines for different health problems.
Secondly
,in traditional days . are suffered a lot due to
the lack of proper roads, and primary health facilities " to maintain a state of well-being". For instance
in the olden days. There was a lack of hospitals to reach out within the time " Golden hours for a pregnant lady within 3o minutes for better care"Moreover
, not many vaccines were discovered by scientists due to
a lack of technology. Hence
, people are used to traditional methods of treatment. due unskilled workers to performing specific tasks.
In conclusion, modern-day citizens are having all the fun due to
our ancestral struggles and hard work well developed in infrastructure to reach out to even rural sectors by providing awareness programs to prevent before it invades and causes death.Submitted by khesh22naik on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure which makes it somewhat difficult to follow. Use clear paragraphs to introduce each new idea or argument and connect them with appropriate linking words to improve the logical flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more explicitly stated. In the introduction, clearly state your thesis or main argument. The conclusion should restate this main argument and quickly summarize the main points of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have presented a few main points, but they need to be more fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You partially address the question, but the response needs to be more developed. You should extend your answer to discuss both sides of the argument (even if you agree with one side) and include personal examples or specific details to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but they lack clarity and are not always comprehensive. It's important to organize your thoughts clearly and avoid vague statements. Use specific examples to support your points and make sure each paragraph conveys a single clear idea.
Task Achievement
You should use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These can be historical comparisons, statistical data, or concrete case studies that directly relate to your points and help to clearly illustrate your stance.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.