IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons of your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #clothes #indication #answers
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to wear
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 which
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
show examples
 their
preference
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others say that the
clothes
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worn
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
telling
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 anything. Regardless of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two notions,
this
Linking Words
 paper will discuss both of them and state the opinion in the end. Most
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 the right
clothes
Use synonyms
 represents many things as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 and social status.
This
Linking Words
 notion can be understood since
people
Use synonyms
 are trying to make
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 impression especially on the first meeting.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 when
people
Use synonyms
 have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interview for work,
people
Use synonyms
 want to be seen as
people
Use synonyms
 who have a good
personality
Use synonyms
,
trustworthy
Add a missing verb
are trustworthy
show examples
, and
serious
Add a missing verb
are serious
show examples
to get
Change preposition
about getting
show examples
 the job.
Hence
Linking Words
, they are trying to
use
Verb problem
wear
show examples
 formal
clothes
Use synonyms
 rather than the casual
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. Another thing about
clothes
Use synonyms
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
, somehow it indicates social status when
people
Use synonyms
 want to maintain an image as rich or wealthy
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 more attention from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 and
to sustain
Change the verb form
sustaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 glamorous lifestyle, celebrities are keen to wear expensive
clothes
Use synonyms
 from prominent brands to make them
looked
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 fancy in front of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are still
people
Use synonyms
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 should not be an indicator to see what
people
Use synonyms
’s
preference
Use synonyms
 since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 only about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
function and nothing more than that. By arguing
this
Linking Words
 means
clothes
Use synonyms
 can be used as simple as to protect
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
 from extreme weather like using jacket or sweater in winter season or using t-shirt when
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to
beach
Add an article
the beach
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sunny day.
Clothes
Use synonyms
 are nothing about
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
 but only to cover the body. I personally think that
people
Use synonyms
 should not be judged by anything they wear, since it is not fair; even I will be angry if my
personality
Use synonyms
 is judged by my
clothes
Use synonyms
. I think we should see
clothes
Use synonyms
 only because of
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 function and based on our needs. There are many areas
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be indicate
Change the verb form
indicate
show examples
 what
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 like
for example
Linking Words
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 manage their money and how they manage their relationship with others. Those things still can tell many things more than what the
clothes
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 shown. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 might judge
people
Use synonyms
’s
preference
Use synonyms
 by their
clothes
Use synonyms
 and some might not, since
clothes
Use synonyms
 is only
clothes
Use synonyms
, nothing more.
Hence
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
tend
Add the particle
totend
show examples
 see
clothes
Use synonyms
 as they are without
asscosiating
Correct your spelling
associating
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 because it is just unfair.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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