IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show changes of a cinema from 1980 until now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show changes of a cinema from 1980 until now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The map of A and B show how a movie
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 has developed over the
last
Linking Words
 40 years. There have been several changes, the most noticeable being the increases in accommodation,
cinema
Use synonyms
 studio expansion, and the introduction of a DVD shop. In 1980, on the left side of the entrance where the
Cinema
Use synonyms
 One was there previously.
on
Capitalize word
On
show examples
 the right side of the entrance were the Ticket and the Drinks
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 located. On the other side of the ticket and drink booth was the square-shaped
Cinema
Use synonyms
 2. In front of
Cinema
Use synonyms
 2 has always been a toilet. Next to
this
Linking Words
 was a car park. Turning to the present-day map, it can be seen that the car park has gone, being replaced by two movie
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
. The toilet remains, as does the ticket booth.
Cinema
Use synonyms
 1 was replaced by the drinks station, which now provides food too,
although
Linking Words
 it did not have it before, and
relax
Wrong verb form
a relaxation
show examples
 room facility was added next to it. Having been converted into three
cinema
Use synonyms
 studios, the square-shaped
Cinema
Use synonyms
 2 has now gone,
while
Linking Words
 the previously situated drinks station has been replaced by a DVD shop.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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