IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below gives information about Dubai gold sales in 2002.

The given diagram illustrates how gold
sales
Use synonyms
 in Dubai fluctuated over a period of 12 months.
Overall
Linking Words
, gold
sales
Use synonyms
 in Dubai remained relatively unchanged in 2002. It is observed that in the first month of 2002, gold
sales
Use synonyms
 stood at 200
million
Use synonyms
dirhams
Use synonyms
 and rose slightly to reach about 225
million
Use synonyms
 in February.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by another increase,
although
Linking Words
 much steeper, in March when
sales
Use synonyms
 were almost 125
million
Use synonyms
dirhams
Use synonyms
 higher than in February.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 upward trend was suddenly broken and
sales
Use synonyms
 plummeted dramatically over the next 4 months to reach a little over 100
million
Use synonyms
dirhams
Use synonyms
 in July. August
sales
Use synonyms
 showed a significant rise back to January levels as figures nearly doubled, but
this
Linking Words
 was not to
last
Linking Words
 as they dropped again in September to the same level as they were in July. October came with a small increase of about 100
million
Use synonyms
dirhams
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
, after which
sales
Use synonyms
 figures levelled off and remained relatively static over the
last
Linking Words
 two months of 2002.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 were at their highest in March
while
Linking Words
 the weakest
sales
Use synonyms
 figures could be observed in July and September.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, million, dirhams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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