Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, the place of

music

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in society has become a popular topic, and many

people

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think it is worth discussing.

However

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, they still have not come to an agreement with each other on whether the important role is played by

music

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in society or

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people's

Correct word choice

whether people's

show examples

entertainment is formed by

music

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. Whatever each side of the argument thinks, I strongly agree that

Music

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is a crucial role model for the population. There are many reasons why I think so.

To begin

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with,

music

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has represented

people

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's culture since ancient times.

Therefore

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people

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know past life through

music

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For example

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, Turkish

people

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who are living now can learn about the çanakkale War which was hard life conditions, They listen to Canakkale folk songs and they can feel like past time.

In addition

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music

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is not only important for us but

also

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it is a huge way for the world. Another reason is that, mean

music

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means freedom because art has never been limited so

music

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is a way of expressing some truth. A good example of

this

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is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

sometimes

music

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means that I love you, sometimes to criticize the government and sometimes to make you feel sadness and happiness.

On the other hand

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, many

people

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think the opposite of my idea.

Firstly

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, nowadays

music

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is used for an enjoyable time for

people

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like festivals and marriage ceremonies.

Moreover

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people

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watch

music

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computation programs because of

fun

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and these programs are increasing day by day

such

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

o ses türkiye.

Secondly

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, songs which give

people

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fun

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are the trend in the world. What's more, many cafe shops and clubs are played

fun

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music

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To sum up

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, in spite of the fact that

people

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have

fun

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with way of

music

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music

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is a key figure in the world. As Ataturk said A nation without

music

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means that one of its lifelines has been severed.

ece.ozge

Aug 25, 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People believe that certain criminals should be made to do community service instead of putting them behind the bars. Up to what extent do you agree?

Music and other arts seem to be features of every society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals?

Many people think it is the government’s responsibility to ensure the provision of good health care for everyone in the community and that each individual should be cared for by State medical programmes. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

The popularity of fast food is increasing, especially among younger people. What are the cause for this trend? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that the construction of new public buildings like a museum, and art galleries are better than renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree?