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Band 6

Some people say that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #children #information #internet #study #home
People have differing views with regard to the question of did
children
 need to go to
schools
while
 they can learn everything from the
Internet
.
While
 some argue that
children
 do not need to go to any educational institutions, I believe
schools
 still play an important role in our lives Admittedly, there is good reason to say that
children
 should go to
school
 They can have a lot of good relationships through
schools
. Having friends on the
Internet
 is never as interesting as making friends in real life. They can even try the puppy love. From my point of view, it will be more appealing than
Internet
 love.
For instance
,
schools
 often have at least one extracurricular activity for
students
 in a
school
 year.
That is
 the time when
children
 can spend a good part of their time with friends and make some new relationships with other
students
 in
school
 There is
also
 compelling reason to argue that still necessary for
children
 to go to
school
. It is better for
students
 to listen to the lecture directly. There will be Sometimes
students
 struggle to study through a screen. If studying face-to-face, they can ask the teachers their questions immediately. When learning online, they will have to look up everything on their own without anyone's help. Granted, one might argue that the
Internet
 has everything and can respond faster than the teachers.
However
, information on the
Internet
 is updated by humans.
Therefore
, it may sometimes make mistakes and give the wrong answer In conclusion, I require study at
school
 rather than exercise at home.
Students
 can experience a lot of new things through
schools
 that they can never have if they study online
Submitted by chi on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization and connection between ideas. Consider structuring the essay with clearer topic sentences and supporting details
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and strive for more precision and accuracy in word choice and expression
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to convey ideas more clearly

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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