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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
job
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satisfaction
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 or
job
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security
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 is more important from an employee’s perspective. From a pragmatic perspective, of course, both of them are significantly important for workers.
Hence
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, in
this
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 essay, I will discuss these distinct viewpoints and explain why I strongly support the opinion that they should focus on the level of
satisfaction
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.
To begin
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 with, there are several benefits brought by
job
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satisfaction
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 because of its important role in the workplace.
For instance
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, if
people
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 can work in ideal places where abundant benefits,
such
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 as many opportunities for promotions and rich facilities for them to relax, are available, they would consider that their employers regard workers as important resources for companies.
In other words
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, thanks to those preferable working conditions, employees can be motivated.
This
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consequently
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 leads to higher efficiency and productivity of the entire business.
Furthermore
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, if they become more efficient and motivated, their evaluations from their seniors will be greater, leading to an increase in salaries.
This
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 means that the higher
job
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satisfaction
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 is, the more they can make money.
Therefore
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, when ordinary
people
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 choose their jobs, they should prioritize
satisfaction
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.
On the other hand
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, as some
people
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 argue, if they cannot keep working in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 companies, their financial conditions may be unstable. Certainly, by working in the same places, they can secure their own financial resources, and they will be able to predict future plans.
However
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, it is
also
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 true that even if they could find a permanent
job
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, if they could not find meaningful aspects in daily work, they would be stressed and less motivated,
as a result
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. These negative situations will decrease their productivity, and the evaluations of them from their colleagues and managers will be worse, leading to lower salaries.
This
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 information reveals that
job
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security
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 becomes meaningless, if there is no
satisfaction
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,
in other words
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, the existence of
job
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satisfaction
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 is more important and fundamental than
job
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security
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some advantages brought by securing employment, the benefits of
job
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satisfaction
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 ultimately outweigh those of
job
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security
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. What is more, the importance of long-lasting employment decreases if
job
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satisfaction
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 is not achieved. For these reasons, I completely agree with the statement that
people
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 should choose their jobs based on the estimated level of
satisfaction
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.

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Task Achievement
Your essay discusses both sides of the argument well, showing a clear understanding of the topic. However, make sure to directly answer the question in every part of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have organized your ideas logically. Use more linking words to connect your sentences and make them flow better.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument even stronger and more convincing.
Positive Highlight
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines your main points, which gives the reader a clear understanding of what to expect.
Positive Highlight
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your opinion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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