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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #countries
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In today's globalized world, the question of whether
governments
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 should concentrate their efforts on aiding their own
citizens
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 or broaden their
assistance
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 worldwide is a topic that elicits divergent viewpoints. Contrary to the notion that localized aid should be prioritized, I firmly believe that
governments
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 have a moral responsibility to extend their support globally, addressing the broader challenges that transcend national boundaries.
While
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 it is true that the scope of global issues is vast and resources are limited, limiting
assistance
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 to one's own
citizens
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 can perpetuate inequality and disregard the global interdependence that characterizes our era. Rather than focusing exclusively on domestic concerns,
governments
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 should recognize that challenges like climate change, pandemics, and economic disparities have far-reaching consequences that demand collaborative solutions. By engaging in international partnerships,
governments
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 can pool resources, share knowledge, and collectively address issues that affect humanity as a whole.
Moreover
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, prioritizing global
assistance
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 can lead to enhanced diplomatic relations and a stronger international standing.
Governments
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 that demonstrate a commitment to the well-being of all
citizens
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, irrespective of nationality, foster goodwill among nations.
Such
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 efforts can lead to reciprocal support in times of need, bolstering global stability and cooperation. In conclusion,
while
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 the idea of concentrating efforts on domestic
citizens
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 has its merits, the interconnected nature of today's challenges requires a broader perspective.
Governments
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 should play an active role in addressing global issues, as neglecting
such
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 responsibilities risks perpetuating inequality and hindering progress. By extending their
assistance
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 beyond national borders,
governments
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 can contribute to a more equitable and interconnected world that benefits all of humanity.
Submitted by rvaishali23 on

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Task Response
Your essay displays a clear understanding of the task and fully addresses the prompt. Your arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples and reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and tightly linked to the rest of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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