IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.

In
this
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 age of technology, meal
preparation
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 has been getting more convenient with modern tools. In my opinion, the advantages of these alternative methods far outweigh the disadvantages in equal measure, and I will give my reasons below. The main benefit of
this
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 phenomenon is that it can
minimize
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minimise
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 the
preparation
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 duration for most
people
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, especially businessmen, students, and
people
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 who do not have much
time
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 to cook. To be more specific,
this
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 advanced technology helps
people
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 to complete tedious tasks in less
span
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time
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 without taking more effort.
For example
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, a slicer allows us to cut extra-thin slices, particularly meats, sausages, and cheeses
without
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, without
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 slicing by hand. Another example is a mixer, which can grind materials without having more effort
,
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;
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as a result
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, we have more
time
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 to do productive things. A second argument is to ensure cooking safety because the advancement of technology provides a great deal of devices like rice cookers, inductive stoves, and microwave
stoves
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ovens
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.
This
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 means that these advancements serve the human demand for cooking with no risk of
fire
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 issues.
For instance
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, in the past,
people
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 had a tendency to use gas or
fire
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 stoves,
hence
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, a higher risk is easy to getting burned by
fire
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 and causing a lot of matters related to not only property but
also
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 human life. Despite the positives mentioned above, it seems that over-dependence on
food
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preparation
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 is a negative development. On top of that, the
preparation
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 of
food
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 has evolved rapidly, which is convenient for those who have no
time
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 to prepare meals, but not good for
health
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their health
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hazards
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apply
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. A typical example is that countries in the West have grown in having a lot of restaurants and fast-
food
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 stores, and obesity and a lot of health-related issues that can be caused by the consumption of junk
food
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 are ever-increasing in Western countries. In conclusion, advanced technological methods of
food
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 help
people
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 save
time
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, reduce the risks of
fire
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, and enhance the standard of
people
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's life
,
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;
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however
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, it might be effected to
people
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's health in many ways.

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improvement
Make the main idea clear in each para and start each one with a strong topic sentence.
advice
Show both sides more balanced. Give more on the bad side if you say the good side is strong.
advice
Keep a short thesis and link ideas with simple connects.
advice
Check how a sentence sounds. Use simple, short forms to avoid long errors.
structure
There is a clear intro and a closing part.
example
Good use of examples like slicer and rice cooker to back points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modern appliances
  • Pre-packaged meals
  • Cooking time
  • Nutritional value
  • Public health
  • Work-life balance
  • Cultural heritage
  • Food industry
  • Processed foods
  • Packaging waste
  • Social bonding
  • Culinary skills
  • International cuisine
  • Preservatives
  • Additives
  • Contamination
What to do next:
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