Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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Whilst some individuals consider that the best solution to improve public

health

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is to raise the number of

sports

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facilities

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because they have a huge impact on public

health

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, I completely disagree with

this

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view for some reasons. On the one hand,

sports

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facilities

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can help individuals

Verb problem

apply

show examples

improve and maintain their

health

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since accessible

sports

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facilities

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may increase participation.

For instance

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, no one can go far away to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise;

nevertheless

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, in a situation where

such

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facilities

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can be settled in more and more numbers in the city centre, many

people

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can go to these

facilities

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Therefore

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, it plays a pivotal role in improving public

health

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On the other hand

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, the primary reason for rejecting

this

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view, it may cause some problems

such

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that governments put the responsibility only on

sports

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facilities

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This

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is a crucial mistake to improve public

health

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because public

health

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consists of many different parts. To exemplify, the most important part is to vaccinate against dangerous viruses. Comparing the benefits of vaccination with the benefits of a growing number of

sports

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facilities

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reveals how critical the importance of vaccination is. A good example of

this

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is the Covid-19 outbreak.

People

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must be vaccinated to eradicate the virus. The second reason why

this

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statement is not accepted is that many

people

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cannot separate their time

Change preposition

from

show examples

doing exercise because of their workload. Authorities can build up

sports

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facilities

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or open new

facilities

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however

Linking Words

, it is a waste of money unless

people

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do not find enough time to do

sports

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To conclude

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, if

people

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only focus on increasing

sports

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facilities

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this

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situation gives rise to overlooking the most crucial elements to improve public

health

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Therefore

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this

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statement is not admitted.

Submitted by eerkare on Sat Aug 26 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

As we are facing more and more problems,which affect the whole planet,good relationship between different countries are becoming more important than ever before .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more adults choose to continue to live with their parents after they graduate and have found jobs. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT COMPETITION AT WORK, AT SCHOOL AND IN DAILY LIFE IS A GOOD THING. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD TRY TO COOPERATE MORE, RATHER THAN COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER.