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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Online learning has become increasingly popular. Do you think that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.

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In today’s world, online learning has become increasingly popular in recent years.
Although
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 online learning can have certain upsides, I personally think that the downsides are more considerable. On the one hand, the benefits of online learning are numerous and far-reaching. One of the most significant benefits of online learning is its flexibility and convenience.
As a result
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, it is easier for learners to balance studies with work and their personal lives.
Also
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, online learning may eliminate the need for commuting, saving students time and money. The second benefit is that it creates a comfortable study space. When
people
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 study online, they can choose the place they find most comfortable which will give them a better mood and improve the quality of learning. To illustrate
this
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 point, when learning online,
people
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 can choose a bedroom or living room to learn.
On the other hand
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, I personally believe that the drawbacks of online learning are more significant. One of the biggest drawbacks is the lack of face-to-face communication. When
people
Use synonyms
 are learning online, they do not have lots of chances to participate in discussions and ask questions.
Thus
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, students cannot fully grasp the content of the lecture. The second drawback is that online learning is dependent on electronic devices. If these devices have any problems, it will be quite difficult to learn.
Besides
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, thanks to the development of the internet with websites
such
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 as Google, it makes
people
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 lazy to think and become passive. In conclusion,
while
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 there are certain merits of online learning regarding its flexibility and comfortable study space, it is my firm belief that the demerits in terms of the lack of face-to-face interaction and the dependence on electronic devices are weightier.

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction sets the context of the essay effectively. It seems to lack a clear thesis statement.
Task Response
Develop a more nuanced response to the task by presenting a balanced view that recognises both sides before making a clear argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to increase coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments.
Grammatical Range
Work on varying sentence structures to improve readability and show a greater range of grammatical structures.
Lexical Resource
Enhance lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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