It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

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Nowadays, many people believe that the government should protect the health of their

children

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from fast food and sugary

drinks

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by introducing new laws that would counteract the presence of these harmful products and

restaurants

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. In

this

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essay, I want to demonstrate my point of view and my arguments.

Firstly

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, there will be a decrease in the attendance of

fast-food

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restaurants

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and the demand for sugary

drinks

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among

children

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Consequently

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this

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may lead to reduced profits for companies that own

fast-food

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restaurants

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and produce sugary

drinks

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This

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, in turn, might result in job losses, causing dissatisfaction among these workers.

Additionally

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, many companies and

fast-food

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chains might leave the country, losing potential consumers, base-namely

children

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Overall

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this

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will lead to a decline in the economy as a whole.

Secondly

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this

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will reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attendance at medical institutions.

Consequently

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, parents of these

children

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will spend less money on healthcare.

This

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, in turn, will lead to the loss of various positions,

such

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as pediatric dentists and pediatric endocrinologists.

Additionally

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, there will be a reduced demand in the pharmaceutical sector.

As a result

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, the production of pharmaceutical products and various tools for medical institutions and pharmacies will decrease.

This

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will

also

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lead to a decline in the quality of medicine. Personally, I believe that scientists working in various laboratories studying diseases caused by obesity will not be able to specifically improve the quality of medicines and develop vaccines that may be necessary for future generations. In conclusion, I believe that the government should not create laws that ban or protect

children

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from fast food and sugary

drinks

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Instead

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this

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should be taught in schools, with teachers or parents providing guidance on the potential health risks of excessive consumption of

such

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products, and not harm the position of

fast-food

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restaurants

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and sugary drink manufacturers.

otemirov439Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument to some extent. However, you could strengthen your task response by providing clearer arguments on why the government should not implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants when protecting children's health.

coherence cohesion

The ideas in your essay are coherent and related to the topic. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved by using more transition phrases and connecting sentences to make the essay smoother and more engaging.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to make your arguments stronger. Examples can help to illustrate your points clearly and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You conclude your essay well by summarizing your main points, but you could enhance your conclusion by restating your main arguments in a more persuasive manner.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.

task achievement

You offer several points to support your opinion, showing your understanding of the topic.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity epidemic
preventive measures
public health policy
nutritional standards
sedentary lifestyle
dietary habits
health incentives
junk food regulation
childhood obesity interventions
consumer behavior change
food labeling laws
caloric intake reduction
nutrition education
parental responsibility
health promotion strategies

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It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the latest technology is creating a divide between rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people choose to travel alone. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.