It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#duty #governments #children #health #obesity #government #laws #drinks #food #restaurants #measures

Nowadays, many people believe that the government should protect the health of their

children

from fast food and sugary

drinks

by introducing new laws that would counteract the presence of these harmful products and

restaurants

. In

this

essay, I want to demonstrate my point of view and my arguments.

Firstly

, there will be a decrease in the attendance of

fast-food

restaurants

and the demand for sugary

drinks

among

children

Consequently

this

may lead to reduced profits for companies that own

fast-food

restaurants

and produce sugary

drinks

This

, in turn, might result in job losses, causing dissatisfaction among these workers.

Additionally

, many companies and

fast-food

chains might leave the country, losing potential consumers, base-namely

children

Overall

this

will lead to a decline in the economy as a whole.

Secondly

this

will reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attendance at medical institutions.

Consequently

, parents of these

children

will spend less money on healthcare.

This

, in turn, will lead to the loss of various positions,

such

as pediatric dentists and pediatric endocrinologists.

Additionally

, there will be a reduced demand in the pharmaceutical sector.

As a result

, the production of pharmaceutical products and various tools for medical institutions and pharmacies will decrease.

This

will

also

lead to a decline in the quality of medicine. Personally, I believe that scientists working in various laboratories studying diseases caused by obesity will not be able to specifically improve the quality of medicines and develop vaccines that may be necessary for future generations. In conclusion, I believe that the government should not create laws that ban or protect

children

from fast food and sugary

drinks

Instead

this

should be taught in schools, with teachers or parents providing guidance on the potential health risks of excessive consumption of

such

products, and not harm the position of

fast-food

restaurants

and sugary drink manufacturers.

Submitted by otemirov439 on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument to some extent. However, you could strengthen your task response by providing clearer arguments on why the government should not implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants when protecting children's health.

coherence cohesion

The ideas in your essay are coherent and related to the topic. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved by using more transition phrases and connecting sentences to make the essay smoother and more engaging.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to make your arguments stronger. Examples can help to illustrate your points clearly and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You conclude your essay well by summarizing your main points, but you could enhance your conclusion by restating your main arguments in a more persuasive manner.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.

task achievement

You offer several points to support your opinion, showing your understanding of the topic.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity epidemic
preventive measures
public health policy
nutritional standards
sedentary lifestyle
dietary habits
health incentives
junk food regulation
childhood obesity interventions
consumer behavior change
food labeling laws
caloric intake reduction
nutrition education
parental responsibility
health promotion strategies

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It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

Future plans to design prisons for learning and working, with bigger cells containing computers that will enable study and communication, have been criticized for trying to turn prisons into "holiday campus" and "wasting taxpayers' money". To what extent do you agree or disagree with these views?

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Q: Many people think living in high-rise apartment blocks makes people feel lonely and unhappy, while others argue that it has advantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion?