Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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The debate surrounding the necessity of attending school versus studying from home via the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
continues to capture public attention. Some individuals argue that online learning is more effective than traditional schooling.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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viewpoint, and in
this
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essay, I will outline the reasons for my stance.
Firstly
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,
while
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it is undeniable that the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is a helpful tool for completing assignments and accessing educational materials, it can
also
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serve as a major distraction for
students
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. Nowadays, children often prefer to use the
internet
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not just for academic purposes but
also
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for recreational activities
such
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as playing video games, watching YouTube, and engaging in other non-educational content.
This
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overuse of technology can lead to various negative consequences, including eye strain, nearsightedness, and complaints about vision problems.
Furthermore
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, excessive screen time contributes to the
development
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of a sedentary lifestyle, which can lead to health issues
such
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as obesity and hypertension.
Students
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who spend too much time on the
internet
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often become antisocial, neglecting physical activities and social interactions with peers.
This
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lack of engagement with the outside world can hinder their social
development
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and
overall
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well-being.
On the other hand
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,
although
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the
internet
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provides a vast array of information, it cannot substitute for the guidance and personal interaction that
students
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receive in school.
Teachers
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play a crucial role in shaping
students
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' character, teaching them proper manners, and promoting social skills that are essential for their personal growth.
For example
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, high school
students
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, particularly adolescents, often develop poor habits and
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
that require the attention and advice of
teachers
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. The motivation and support that
students
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receive from
teachers
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in a classroom setting cannot be replicated through online resources.
Teachers
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are not only educators but
also
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mentors who help guide
students
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in their personal and social
development
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.
In contrast
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, the
internet
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lacks the ability to offer
this
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kind of direct mentorship and emotional support. In conclusion,
while
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the
internet
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offers numerous advantages in terms of access to information and flexibility in learning, it cannot replace the essential role that schools play in providing a well-rounded education. Schools are vital not only for academic learning but
also
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for fostering social interaction, character
development
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, and physical well-being.
Therefore
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, traditional schooling remains indispensable in shaping the future of
students
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in a comprehensive manner.

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Task Achievement
Consider rephrasing your thesis statement to make it clearer and more assertive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include more varied linking words to improve cohesion, particularly when transitioning between main points.
Task Achievement
Your arguments are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly regarding the impact of excessive internet use on students' well-being.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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