IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below show the highest educational degree earned by King City residents, and the average household size in King City from 1950 - 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the highest educational degree earned by King City residents, and the average household size in King City from 1950 - 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #city #residents #household #size #information #features #comparisons
The given charts depict the information about the highest educational status achieved by the
recidents
Correct your spelling
residents
 and the average household size of
king
Correct your spelling
King City
show examples
city
 from 1950 to 2000.
Overall
, the percentage of people who
colpleted
Correct your spelling
completed
complete
 a college
degree
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly increased
while
 the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of non-
degree
 holders saw a decreasing trend over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the average household size
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 King
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped during the given time. Considering the educational status of
king
Correct your spelling
King City
show examples
city
recidents
Correct your spelling
residents
, In 1950 only about 25% of people had a college
degree
 , but it saw a drastic rise to nearly over 60%
in1990
Correct your spelling
in 1990
 and remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 until 2000.
In contrast
, in 1950 there were nearly 50% of high school
degree
 holders , but it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 to 10% and remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 until the end of the period.It is worth
considereing
Correct your spelling
considering
 that the percentage of residents who didn't have a high school
degree
 in king
city
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased over the given period from about 15 % in 1950 to nearly 5% in 2000.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, degree with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: