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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the highest educational degree earned by King City residents, and the average household size in King City from 1950 - 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the highest educational degree earned by King City residents, and the average household size in King City from 1950 - 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given charts depict the information about the highest educational status achieved by the
recidents
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residents
 and the average household size of
king
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King City
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city
Use synonyms
 from 1950 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of people who
colpleted
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completed
complete
 a college
degree
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly increased
while
Linking Words
 the
propotion
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proportion
 of non-
degree
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 holders saw a decreasing trend over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 the average household size
of
Change preposition
in
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 King
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped during the given time. Considering the educational status of
king
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King City
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city
Use synonyms
recidents
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residents
, In 1950 only about 25% of people had a college
degree
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 , but it saw a drastic rise to nearly over 60%
in1990
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in 1990
 and remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 until 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in 1950 there were nearly 50% of high school
degree
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 holders , but it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 to 10% and remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 until the end of the period.It is worth
considereing
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considering
 that the percentage of residents who didn't have a high school
degree
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 in king
city
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased over the given period from about 15 % in 1950 to nearly 5% in 2000.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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