the audience of the male sports are more than the female sports what are the causes is it positive or a negative development.

#audience #sports #development

It is important to think about why spectators of

men

sports

are higher than

women

. I think

this

will have drawbacks for female

sports

Change preposition

show examples

the long term. I will delve into the reasons that caused

this

notion. It is irrefutable that

Sports

have a large base

Change preposition

apply

show examples

audience mostly for male physical activity.

This

due

Add a missing verb

is due

show examples

to many reasons;

Firstly

Men

games offer epic and engaging

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

, which is the main purpose of entertainment.

Secondly

, in the past,

Women

were not allowed to participate in physical activities. Their role

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

mainly related to culinary skills and attractive appearances, leaving the physical part for males. which

consequently

made people attracted to watching

men

play physical games.

For example

, the

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

world's

Capitalize word

World's

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

was spectated by over a billion viewers, in

contrary

Correct your spelling

contrast

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the women

show examples

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

world's

Capitalize word

World's

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

which was viewed by a ten million people

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Furthermore

, males are innately talented in games, so It is amusing to watch them play

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, as they create memorable

atmosphere

Fix the agreement mistake

atmospheres

show examples

On the other hand

, female

sports

are suffering from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low views,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

may have

detriorative

Correct your spelling

deteriorative

deteriorating

effects in the long term.

this

Capitalize word

This

show examples

is because viewers equals money that comes from

advertisments

Correct your spelling

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

296 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender disparity
fan base
media representation
sponsorship deals
commercialization
stereotypes
athletic prowess
marketing strategies
visibility
cultural norms
gender inequality
grassroots initiatives
equal representation
institutional bias
public interest

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the audience of the male sports are more than the female sports what are the causes is it positive or a negative development.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. But others think taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure" Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?